Because the only thing hotter than sex with Edward Cullen is a horny, blind man with no hand-eye coordination wielding a frozen glass dildo.

While it was likely more than a year ago when I first heard of and picked up a book called Twilight, by Stephenie Meyers, it wasn't until the recent fervor of the upcoming movie that I bothered to think of reading the series. I noticed they seemed to cause strong feelings, especially about the protagonist's boyfriend, a vampire named Edward Cullen. Many seemed to think he warranted devoted love, if not outright panty-throwing. Others found the books worthy of shouts of outraged taste.

I didn't know why. I was innocent, then.

While I consider myself a woman of no uncertain bravery in literary matters, I think even I may have quavered in my resolve, had I known what I was about to face. I didn't, though, so with my usual brisk efficiency I decided to waste no valuable time reading the sort of novel that would be so beloved in popular culture, and would instead listen to the audiobooks instead. This worked until about five minutes into the first chapter, when the narrator Bella Swan -yes, that is her real name, I am not making it up- commented one too many times on clothing, and the miserable town of Forks to which she was moving, and how very self-sacrificial she was being in letting her mother have time with the new husband while Bella moved to small-town Washington to live with her reticent father. The reticence of Charlie Swan comes in very handy, to keep from forcing the author from writing any actual characterization of him or any other character but Bella.

Bella, and Edward Cullen. Beautiful Edward Cullen. Perfect Edward Cullen. Mysterious and aloof and downright rude Edward Cullen, who is the single real object of interest in Bella's life, and these are really the sort of repetitive adjectives used in the novel to the point where Oscar Wilde would feel the need to go on a murderous rampage. Then Bella finds out that his outright hostility isn't a reaction to her obnoxious self-absorption but a result of his violent desire to drink her blood and use her coccyx for an after-dinner mint.

Oh, yes, Edward Cullen is a vampire. A perfect, beautiful, god-like vampire who can come to school during the daytime because (1) he's been seventeen for eighty years, with all its accompanying issues, and (2) vampires in these books don't combust in daylight.

They sparkle.

Again, you read that correctly.

But everything is fine. Because, despite Bella's suicidal persistence in pursuing Edward even though he's announced his desperate desire to snarf her ass, the pair of them are Epic True Love, and proceed to sparkle all over the place. And then there is some plot forced in that allows Bella to pass out during the action like a Real Lady protecting her Most Precious Virtue, because having a bad vampire follow Bella around is obviously bad, but Edward's habitual stalking and sneaking into Bella's room is just fine.

Edward shows his love to Bella in many ways. He breaks into her room at night and watches her sleep. His Special Sparkly Vampire Powers lend themselves to mind reading, and he breathes (or doesn't) murderous threats against any male that thinks warm, fuzzy thoughts of Bella's pale skin. When Bella tries to snog him, he protects her maidenly virtue by throwing her to the ground and demanding she not undermine his self-control. In between such gentlemanly feats he reminds Bella how easily his Special Sparkly Vampire Strength could snap her skinny neck and how much he wants to eat her. The prospect is (understandably) so tempting that she keeps risking life and dignity to stay with him, and when, in the second book, he leaves her, she walks around in a fugue state and the book literally goes blank to emphasize that she is not a person without him.

Ladies, can you believe he was single for this long?! Over one hundred years of pure and spotless virginity on this one, plus the comforting constancy of seventeen-year-old male insecurities forever. There is a strong society of fangirls who gush over the florid descriptions of pasty-faced, golden-eyed, wild-haired Edward, resulting in flair decorations on that social networking Book Of Faces that says "Edward Cullen: Raising Standards for Future Boyfriends." I must admit to a certain degree of terror at the thought. If stalking, obsession, and hideous sexual issues are a step up from past boyfriends...

In a world full of young impressionable girls grasping their Twilight books to their undeveloped chests and thinking this is even halfway approaching acceptable and attractive behavior in young men and women, I must say I find it refreshing to spend time with those of higher literary standardswho also find such books an affront to good taste, among people who realize that a Lady of Quality has more choices than necrophilia, bestiality, and spinsterdom. These are not the outright claims of the books, but rather the options presented in the construction of the stories and characterization (pardon me, no, I didn't just cough up a hairball at that word there, why do you ask?) and they reflect a sensibility more fitting in a previous century than the current. One can almost imagine Stephenie Meyers and Samuel Richardson sitting down to tally up and compare how many times Bella and Pamela faint in self-defense.

The only problem with this scenario? Nobody told Meyers that they're not hiring for nineteenth-century morality authoresses anymore. Certainly not her editor, who may have been more occupied with whatever her real job is. I do have my doubts that job is actually editing, and often wonder if it is more based in the Waffle House hashbrown-flipping industries. And then I wake up clutching my clammy sheets in terror that one day, karma may catch up with me and deliver unto my manuscript a similar editor, and I promise the deities yet again any firstborn that comes my way yet, in the hopes that such a terrifying prospect might confuse them into leaving us all (vampire toddler) free.

"Well I told you about the total eclipse now but still it caught you unaware."

Oh, Klaus Nomi. How did I not know of you before Coilhouse enlightened me to your presence this morning? You and your entrancing countertenor singing talents (in German AND English!), your plastic triangular tuxedo, your krazy kabuki-esque makeup? I've never even been a fan of eighties culture (well, up until Ashes to Ashes) and you are simply so.... I can't even say 'cheesy'. I have no words. You overwhelm all description.

ETA: I CAN'T say cheesy. Not even. The music is good, and Nomi, you're actually pretty fucking talented with this whole opera thing. <3333

"Simple Man"

"Falling in Love Again"

"After the Fall"

Well I told you about the total eclipse now
but still it caught you unaware
But I’m telling you hold on, hold on
Tomorrow we’ll be there
And even though you went to church upon Sunday
you thought you didn’t even have a prayer
But I’m telling you hold on, hold on
Tomorrow we’ll be there

After the fall we’ll be born, born, born again
after it all blows away
after the fall, after the fall
after it all blows away

We’ll take a million years of civilization
We’re gonna give it the electric chair
But I’m telling you hold on, hold on
Tomorrow we’ll be there

I see a hundred million lonely mutants
they are glowing in their dark despair
But I’m telling you hold on, hold on
Tomorrow we’ll be there

Well the freak shall inherit the earth now
No matter how well done or rare
But I’m telling you hold on, hold on
Tomorrow we’ll be there
We’ll build our radioactive castles
out in the radioactive air
And I’m telling you hold on, hold on
Tomorrow we’ll be there

"I'm feeling alive all over again, as deep as the scar that's under my skin, like being in love, she says, for the first time."

Now that series four of Doctor Who has begun and we've gotten to see Donna's first journey to somewhere else with the Doctor, it's interesting to note the contrasts between the three main companions so far in the new series. They've all had different journeys to different places, gained different insights from their journeys, and have learned different things about the guy they're traveling with.

Rose's first trip in the TARDIS took her to the end of earth. She saw her planet burn into nothing, and know that she was the only earth-born true human left. This journey wasn't just pointlessly depressing, though; the Doctor had a purpose in taking her there: he couldn't adequately tell her what he had just experienced, but he could show her. Her natural traits of empathy took her still further, and at the end of the episode, she takes the Doctor's hand and lets him know that he isn't alone. Their relationship, then, is based on mutual understanding. Rose isn't going to make uninformed comments about his past and his loneliness, because she's seen it and understands.

Then they're all happy, and then Doomsday happens and tears everyone's heart to tiny pieces and then mashes them with a trencher for a little while. And then Martha comes along.

Martha ends up on the moon, she has an adventure saving the hospital with this cute guy who snogs her and just happens to be an alien. She gets some ideas that he's fun and everything is hunky-dory. But it isn't. She doesn't know he's broken and hurting and he thinks he'll never see his best friend again. She doesn't know he's lost a lot of concepts of what's right and how to be kind even if it might hinder you from saving the world. She takes a trip with him, back in time to meet Shakespeare.

Now, when I first saw 'The Shakespeare Code' I did draw up some contrasts between Rose and Martha. Rose chooses to have an adventure in the unknown future; Martha wants to see a known past. Rose leaves her mother and Mickey behind; Martha micromanages her family before she leaves. Rose is kind of drifting in life, without advanced education or a career; Martha has the ambition to make it all the way through medical school, and knows exactly what she's doing.

Frankly, I thought after that, I'd mostly relate to Martha. I mean, yes, I would totally want to see the past instead of a piecemeal peep at the future. I am ambitious and hold onto things I know. And, like Martha, I've done the whole thing with being infatuated with a good friend who took me on adventures but never seemed to be interested in more. But that's over. But perhaps that's exactly why I didn't relate to Martha more than I did; she was too much of an unflattering mirror.

So the Doctor takes Martha on a fun little adventure for her first trip. He probably thinks this is alright; he hasn't signed on for a full-time companion again, just giving a girl who helped him a little treat is all. And she gets the impression that this is his life, and that he hasn't just lost someone who meant so much to him. She isn't allowed a parallel experience, and so she doesn't understand. She keeps going after him and being infatuated and making bitchy comments about Rose- while we may see she's about as appropriate as a golddigger at a funeral, she can't see that.

And now we come to Donna. After the Doctor has lost SO many things- not just Gallifrey and Rose, at this point, but the only other Timelord, his latest companion, as well as a girl named Astrid who was depending on him, he is pretty fucked up. He's having trouble making decisions, because no matter what he does it turns out badly and he has more guilt on his shoulders. So he takes Donna back, accidentally really (though I think the TARDIS might have taken an active role in this,) to Pompeii, and she has to see what it's like to choose between bad and worse, what it's like to see terrible things happening and not being able to stop them. And when faced with this, she chooses to stand by him and shoulder his burdens; her hands over his on the lever is the same action as Rose taking his hand and saying it was time for chips. Donna can see and understand what the Doctor is going through, and yet she can still encourage him to be kind and help people when his position in the universe gets to be a bit much for him.

I think Donna's going to be good for the Doctor, and help him to heal and again the man that Rose loves. I don't want Rose to see him as he was last season, or even now. Because while she would understand his situation, having gone through many of the same things, his behavior and attitude towards everything isn't something that the Rose I know would tolerate. I look forward to seeing them both healthy and whole and together. At least that's what I hope, and might go threaten RTD to make sure happens....

Fifteen Favorite Fanmixes

As many who know me are aware, I love fanmixes. I think it's a really interesting way to explore themes in shows by finding songs that reflect them, and through cover artwork as well. It's also a great way to find out about new artists- the majority of bands on my iPod I discovered through hearing one of their songs on a fanmix, and then looking up more of their music. So I present to you: my fifteen favorite fanmixes, both my own compilations and others'. Click on album cover to link to each fanmix post.



All of a Sudden, I Miss Everyone: A Jack Harkness Fanmix by

boxed

This mix explores the character of Jack Harkness on Doctor Who and Torchwood. It deals with his unique abilities and how he relates to the world and to all the people who've left him behind.


And They'll Never See You Fall: A Tenth Doctor EP by

intrikate88

One of the mixes that I put together. It focuses on the Doctor's brokenness in series three and four of Doctor Who, his difficulties in coping with life without Rose, and the difficulties others have of understanding him.



Broken Things New: A Dexter/Rita Fanmix by

intrikate88

Another mix that I've compiled. This one focuses on the relationship Dexter and Rita have in Dexter, and on the way both of them are emotionally crippled in some way, but still exploring the possibility of being able to love one another.



Cup of Tea: A Doctor/Rose Fanmix by

paperdollgirl

A collection of quiet songs that reflect upon the Doctor and Rose's relationship.



Ten/Rose - The Fine Art of Falling Apart by

boxed

PROBABLY one of my favorite fanmixes ever, and it even comes with some beautiful icons and a wonderful fic! This mix reflects on both Rose's and the Doctor's lives after they are separated in "Doomsday". Wonderful, poignant songs by a great selection of artists.



Happy Phantom: Of Love, Honey, and a Girl Named Chuck by

gimcrack_icons

A cute mix of songs describing Pushing Daisies' Chuck. She's been given a second chance at life by her childhood sweetheart and his abilities to bring the dead to life.



HISS; a Crouch/Lestrange mix by

boxed

The beautiful cover art of this mix is matched by the great concept of the "fleeting moments" of the Doctor and Rose. While their traveling together is temporary, there is something eternal in them as well.



Measures of Infinity (or: How I Lost My Heart to Time) by

boxed

A wonderfully instrumental compilation focusing on the concept of trying to hold on to forever, in the relationship between Rose and the Doctor.



Nicotine: A House/Cuddy Fanmix by

kamikazewaffle

This collection looks at the addictive nature of the relationship between House, M.D.'s Drs. House and Cuddy. While they often drive each other away, they are just as often the only person the other can return to.



No Happy Ending by

katrina87

This mix focuses on the end of Rose and the Doctor's traveling together, and their reflections on their separation.



Pilots Watching Stars: A Post-Doomsday EP by

boxed

Focusing on Rose's learning to deal with her new life in a new universe, this compilation explores her learning to travel on her own.



Running Right Behind You: A Companions Mix by

araceli_maura

This mix lovingly looks at the Doctor's companions- at his friendship with them, his loves, his needs, and each of their own unique features.



See My Friends: a Tenth Doctor mix by

katrina87

Centered around the Doctor's difficulties with relationships in series three of Doctor Who. So sad, but so great.

Take a Walk Around the World by

intrikate88

I had a lot of fun putting this one together- it's all about the journeys Rose takes, from before she meets the Doctor, to long after. Each song has a very short bit of fic with it, showing the various aspects of her travels.



Watching Bridges Burn: A Ten/Rose Playlist by

rainyrainydays

Are the Doctor and Rose separated forever, or can they find a way back? This compilation is all about the doubts and hopes.

Clinging Roses and Emasculated Doctors: The Canon and Fanon Criticisms of the Doctor/Rose Ship

There are a lot of people out there who don't like Rose. That's okay. Everybody responds differently to characters. Many of these people write meta on why they don't like Rose, and again, that's okay. I've read several of these posts; some of them have made sense, some haven't. Some have seemed to make sense up until the logic is deconstructed to reveal sentiments of "Rose should be happy staying home keeping her needy mother and ex-boyfriend happy and being domestic," which is a concept that sounds eerily like the "Angel of the House" ideals of the nineteenth century (and beyond) and aspects of the virgin/whore binary, and those aren't things that I can be comfortable with.

But one thing that appears to be a common theme among this demographic of meta-writing Rose-haters is an assertion that Rose is clingy and therefore emasculating to the Doctor, by inspiring him to cling back.

I can understand why someone might get the impression of clinginess, what with things like this:



and this:



But to generalize that she is clingy based on that evidence is to ignore her consistent behavior of NOT being clingy throughout the series.

Let's face it: travel through time and space would be some pretty scary shit. Traveling with the Doctor involves being penniless and homeless in a foreign place or time where you probably won't be the most popular sort of person: a human in alien territory, or a woman in a misogynistic time period. Personally, if I was traveling with the Doctor and knew that he and his TARDIS were the only things ensuring the possibility of my ever getting home or being protected from a nasty death that no one I knew would ever know about, and knowing the Doctor's tendency to get distracted and wander off? You couldn't peel me off him with a crowbar, y'all. Clingy? I'd be hiding inside his coat with a death grip around his waist.

But Rose isn't doing that. In fact, she wanders off just as much as he does. When there's an opportunity to investigate something odd or to help somebody that appears to be in trouble, she follows that. In her first opportunity to travel with the Doctor, in "The End of the World", she goes off to think, and finds herself sympathizing with a mechanic; shortly thereafter, she's kidnapped, leading the Doctor to label her "jeopardy friendly", which describes her rather well. Whether she's running off to find her alternate universe parents ("Rise of the Cybermen"), grabbing a fire extinguisher and going off to explore a spaceship ("Girl in the Fireplace"), or going to explore a freaky child's bedroom ("Fear Her"), she has no idea where she's headed or the dangers involved or who's going to kidnap her this week but she ventures forward anyway, away from the Doctor and the protection he could offer her.

Even when he's not around and she is kind of lost, she isn't paralyzed- she solves problems, even as she wonders not how she is going to be alright, but whether the Doctor is going to be alright. ("Fear Her"- "But who's going to hold his hand now?") When he is otherwise incapacitated, as in "The Christmas Invasion," she steps up to face the threat to her planet, using the knowledge she knows of intergalactic politics.

While she may be close to the Doctor, she's not really that clingy; not as much as she could be. She's like she is because it is her choice- and the fact that she can choose, consciously, shows that she is a strong, independent woman.

And what about the other popular assertion, that Rose is emasculating to the Doctor, because he's always running after her or needing her? I think it is safe to say that he often works to rescue her, such as from the Wire in "The Idiot's Lantern" and from Cassandra's minions in "The End of the World." But does this cause him to be too dependent upon her, and make her nearness and safety the motivating factor of his actions?

I really don't think so. In "The Empty Child," he wanders off and leaves Rose alone in the middle of a German air raid. In "Father's Day" he walks out on Rose and her father. In "New Earth," he doesn't bother to make sure Rose gets in the right elevator (which leads to her possession by Cassandra.) In "Girl in the Fireplace" he leaves Rose on a ship, essentially stranded. In "The Satan Pit" he makes a choice that seems to epitomize all of these behaviors: to defeat the Beast in the pit, he essentially dooms Rose to being sucked into a black hole and killed. However, he doesn't do this because he's uncaring; he is able to make such a difficult decision because he trusts Rose's ability to survive. He is able to make decisions independent of concerns for her safety, because he knows that she is able to take care of herself independently.

However, in the end, they're not independent of each other in their relationship. And that's a good thing! One of the themes of the show is the triumph of human values, such as interconnectivity and relationship. They help each other and bring out the best in each other. While they can be successful on their own, it is the way they each complement the other that allows us to see their best features: Rose's kindness and bravery, the Doctor's intelligence and regard for humans.

In conclusion, I do think that feelings of dislike for Rose in other people are valid. However, if the argument explaining those feelings is not reasoned and supported with canon examples, there is no way for me to consider the argument valid. As far as I can tell from my understanding of the show and what the creators of the show have said, the Doctor/Rose ship makes sense, and is textually supported.

Yeah, bitches. I just pwned you all like only an English major can.

Literature and Lattes

Seriously, Questionable Content is always awesome, but today? Is just the best. (Click to see it bigger and, possibly, readable.)

A few thoughts on the BBC's Doctor Who image gallery. Which is also a laugh, and usually needs a good copyeditor. *volunteers*

OMG GUYS. Guys. Y'all. I am nearly done downloading the second Doctor Who ep this season. I like this world where there is new Who! I also am scared! What if something awful happens and fandom explodes again?

To help my suspense, I went to the BBC Doctor Who site. Of course.

They have this new game up! About how far in time you can fly the TARDIS in the vortex. It sounds really cool! Except there was this one time I played the Christmas Special game about how many aliens you can identify and freeze or something and I ended up destroying the world and having the website!Doctor telling me I was a really rubbish companion. It totally broke my heart and made me cry jaded me against playing any more games on the site. I also think my US IP address will block me from playing, too.



There are so many pictures of the Doctor looking really disturbed and traumatized. I think this may be Donna's effect? It is kind of funny, but it also looks like he doesn't know where the walls of his universe are anymore. Series three, it keelz.





More trauma!face. Also: why the Blue Suit of Doom? Whyyyyyy? It makes him look skinnier and boxier than he already is, and it usually makes his hair look sad. However, I am TOTALLY with the Browncoat love here.



And with the Browncoat look here. Donna, rock on. IT IS TOTALLY TIME FOR A CANON FIREFLY CROSSOVER. Ohmygod, BBC, please. It'd be like Joss and Rusty's lovechild.



I like that top, Donna. Kinda ehhh about the hairdo, but it's a pretty top.



Oh, Donna. I kind of love you. Not the way I love Rose, not "OMG you are so cute and hot and need to be grinning on my computer screen at all times if not actually hugging the Doctor" but my Donna-love is more like for a big sister. Like, I want to sit around watching movies and commiserate about the complications of having stupidly large boobs, and why guys don't fancy us more than they do but we don't need them anyway, and making plans for trips we'll never take.



Oh, Doctor. Don't look so panicked. DD-cups are scary, but not that frightening. I mean, reserve that face for the triple-Ds at least, right?



"Just because I am mimicking his oh-so-important-Timelordy crossed-arms stance and suit, doesn't mean I am holding back giggles! I am not being ironic at all."



"Donna. They're watching us. Through that box there."
"...I know."


And, to end:


"Look what I did with MY eyeliner pencils, guys! And my mum's Christmas tablecloth."

Oh, Beeb. You're so cute. And so is your special effects budget.

Joss Whedon as Film Auteur

I really hope that one day I get a chance to write a paper arguing that Joss Whedon is a film auteur. I've been reading about the French New Wave critics, and auteur theory, and their views on Hitchcock and all that- and from what I understand of the definition, I think Whedon's work really defines him as such.

The most simple, encompassing definition I have seen so far is in Marilyn Fabe's An Introduction to the Art of Narrative Film Technique, which says that auteurs have a "unique style and vision [that] mark their films" and that "according to the French critics who defined the term, even when an auteur makes a work based on some else's novel, drama, or screenplay, he somehow manages to inscribe upon it his own thematic concerns."

Joss, of course, is best known for his series Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel the Series, and Firefly/Serenity. What themes and concerns come across most strongly in all of these? Things like real families vs. chosen families; the inability for two people in love to have a perfect relationship; free will vs. a pre-programmed destiny; women who say the awkward-but-true things about situations; the prevalence of father-figures over real fathers; a setting that has just as much characterization as one of the actual characters; use of extraordinary situations to explore ordinary issues.

He also wrote the screenplay for Toy Story. Where Woody and Buzz struggle to understand the meaning of their chosen family of the other toys, and their place in it- and their value to their adopted "father," Andy. Where Woody struggles with the issue of will he be a favored toy, or is he destined to be pushed under the bed and forgotten? Bo Peep, I think, fills the role of Cordelia in Angel, or Anya in Buffy- to be both the truth-teller and comforter. The oversized world of the bedroom and Andy's house is just as characterized as the ship Serenity, or the Hyperion Hotel. Though not the director of the film -the typical film auteur- I think it can most definitely be argued that he has imprinted many of the same concerns and themes on Toy Story as he does on his other works.

Even in Disney's Atlantis: The Lost Empire, for which Whedon only wrote a treatment, the same themes return again. Milo Thatch and the crew of explorers struggle with their bond to each other vs. their treasure-seeking expedition. Atlantean princess Kida, unfamiliar with the surface world and its social norms, asks the same questions that River or Anya might ask to get an explanation for a situation. The Shepherd's Book that guides the explorers to Atlantis and the writings on the city itself are a lore and prophecy that challenge ideas of free will and determinism, much like the situation that Buffy found herself in, as the chosen Slayer. The absent father theme comes up again, as Milo's grandfather proves to be far more of a presence and influence on Milo's life.

While most of the auteur information I'm coming across is in regards to Francois Truffaut and Alfred Hitchcock, I think that Joss Whedon does fit into this category of filmmaking. I just wish he'd be a little more prolific! (But I hear Dollhouse and Goners are a go, sometime, though!)

T-minus 16 and counting... Doctor Who series four is a go...

The Beeb, at long, long last, released the starting date for series four of Doctor Who this year. It probably killed them a little bit! While I'm pretty sure Fox has already scheduled episodes of 24 for next frakkin' year, the BBC can just barely be coaxed to tell starting dates for one of its most popular shows.

Actually, we don't even have show time yet. (Although seven p.m. is a safe bet.) This, of course, is for those lucky folks who actually live in the UK and can watch it at the time it comes on, instead of waiting to download it sneakily or find out when or if PBS or SciFi will air the episode.

I'm looking forward to this series with a lot more optimism than I was feeling at this time last year. After the first two series, where I met the Doctor, lost him as he changed into someone with a new face and grew to know him even better, and where I met and fell in love with Rose Tyler, his companion, the London shopgirl who had such a curiosity and sense of adventure as she traveled through time and space, and such a big heart. They traveled the universe in the TARDIS, saving the world and each other over and over again.

And then Rose was lost to another universe.

Of course she wasn't the first human the Doctor picked up to travel with him. Of course she's strong enough to make a life for herself. But still- it's better with two.

Christmas Special- "The Runaway Bride". Donna Noble, in her wedding gown, mysteriously appears on the TARDIS moments after the Doctor has had his heart ripped out and stomped on by emus. She patches up his wounded soul by screeching at him and calling him a Martian, and demanding he take her back to her wedding, since he obviously kidnapped her. Though bemused, he tries to take her back, things get complicated, they save the world, Donna realizes the world is bigger than chips and telly, but refuses to travel with the Doctor: he has a darkness in him, she says, and he needs someone to stop him sometimes.

An unspecified amount of time later, he picks up Martha Jones, medical student, who immediately develops passionate unrequited love for him, and completely fails to stop his darkness. The Doctor is offered many things in series three- a normal life, a wife, one of his own kind- but none of them satisfy, and it only emphasizes his lack of Rose's temperance all the more. When Martha learns to love adventure and realizes she cannot stand in the shadow of either Rose OR the Doctor anymore, she leaves, promising that she will keep in touch.

Series four- it's commonly known that Donna (played by the incomparable Catherine Tate) will be returning as the companion, and I completely embrace this. She won't moon over the Doctor. She won't stand for his shit. She'll stop him when he tries to play god. She'll balance the extraordinariness of traveling to distant times and places with the ordinariness of just wanting a damn cup of tea. At least, that's what I'm hoping. If Russell T. Davies and the Writing Team of Occasional Awesome can keep their shit together, and not jump the shark like a lot of shows do in season four (Angel, folks. Alias. Things start to make no sense whatsoever.) And there are a few other things that are happening that I just can't WAIT to see.

April fifth! That's not too long!

Juno vs. Realism

I went to see Juno this weekend. Mum wanted to hang out, my friends said it was good, Ellen Page has rocked my socks a bit for a while, and it was a pretty enjoyable movie, all in all. I liked it quite a bit, and fangirled most everything Juno said. ("I still have your underwear." "I still have your virginity.")

But then in the car, the discussion started. Grandma, who often has a let's-just-call-it-unique perspective on life, decried the lack of realism. "Juno's parents were too calm about her being pregnant. And that boy who liked her- like he would still want her after she got pregnant?" I patiently explained that I thought part of the whole point was that Juno was not the norm; that was her appeal, how quirky and unique she was. And that, while Paulie Bleeker may have liked Juno even when she was pregnant, he did basically nothing to help her, so how was he violating the norm, again? And, most of all, I think there was a definite reason for not seeing Mac and Bren Macguff's reaction to Juno being pregnant, as well as for not showing any emotional aftereffects for Juno, giving up her baby: that wasn't actually the story.

As far as I can tell (having seen the movie only once,) anything could have happened to Juno, other than getting pregnant. She could have gotten in a car accident and been paralyzed. She could have had some sort of disease. She could have been orphaned, sent to live with a crazy aunt in West Virginia. Whatever. The story here is that

1. Juno is a quirky, independent young woman.
2. Juno has a problem that could drive her into shame, isolation, and a dead-ended life.
3. Juno, keeping in line with her quirky, independent nature, seeks for solutions to her problems.
4. Juno, in the process, learns much about who she is and isn't, what she wants from life, and the nature of relationships.

And that's it. It's Juno, that's what the movie is called. Not What Mac and Bren Thought About Juno Getting Knocked Up. Not The Importance of Being Pro-Life. Not Girl, Keep Your Legs Crossed.

It's just a movie about a girl. And there is realism, actually; there's realism where a female protagonist doesn't have to be perfect to be normal; she doesn't have to be incredibly sexy AND smart AND have all the guys after her AND a few interesting childhood traumas to be the status quo woman. She can be okay in school, have a few friends, not always make the best decisions, and still be someone that we can love, because she's herself and no one else.

So some details are oversimplified. Fine. You want that stuff to be explored? Go make your own movie. But don't forget that Juno is no one but herself.

* * *
Juno MacGuff: You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.
* * *
Vanessa Loring: You think you're really going to do this?
Juno MacGuff: Yeah, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.

* * *
Su-Chin: I'm having a little trouble concentrating.
Juno MacGuff: Oh, well, I could sell you some of my Adderall if you want.
Su-Chin: No thanks, I'm off pills.
Juno MacGuff: That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, "Blah! I am a Kracken from the sea!"
Su-Chin: I heard that was you.

"I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life... why, Georgia, why?"

"People come to Georgia for two things: Gone With the Wind and Martin Luther King, Jr. But you have to have both- neither means a thing without the other. They seem like they contradict each other, but without the story that Gone With the Wind tells, Martin Luther King has no context; without Martin Luther King, Gone With the Wind is just another Southern myth," said my film teacher, Dr. King, once.

I don't think he was wrong. Georgia, and the South as a whole, is a strange place, full of dichotomies, juxtapositions, and contradictions. One of the big issues, of course, is race; with our history, the relationship between white people and black people is something that always seems to come to the forefront. And it seems like everyone, whether they are conscious of it or not, whether they want to or not, whether they have more melanin in their skin or less, operates and thinks at least sometimes based on racial prejudices. I'm sure I'm far from the only girl who's been told, "Don't you bring a black guy home!" And one of my best friends, Katrina, has told her son not to date a white girl when he grows up, because if they break up and White Girl's unhappy about it, she could cry rape and be believed. (Which is probably-most-likely true.)

But on the other hand, I think most people I know are proud of the diversity they see here. I remember when my friend Shelley moved from a somewhat-urban school in south Marietta to a more rural one in north Woodstock. She couldn't stand it; she'd had many friends, black, white, and otherwise in Marietta, and the move to a predominantly white school came with too much irritating homogeneity. (She's a blond and white, by the way.) I feel much the same way- I absolutely want to live places with people coming in all colors. I know that in New Hampshire, the black population is about 2%. I think I'd be a little blinded by the white. I know that, at least around here, the smaller and more rural the town, the whiter and less tolerant it seems to be. And maybe I love to go visit Elijay for the apple festival, but I couldn't fathom living up around there. This is part of why I want so much to live in a city- I often don't fit in, so I want to find places with more diversity, not less, diversity of all sorts: intellectual, ethnic, creative.

But Southern dichotomies aren't just about race, of course. There are politics as well. Maps always show us as the Red States, full of Republicans and conservatives. Part of that is because of the Bible Belt, the solid streak of Baptist churches lined up across our portion of the country. Despite the strong religious leanings, though, the conservative stance is to be against things like social programs, and for things like nationalism- strange, considering Jesus told people to share their goods with those who had none, and urged his followers to pursue an alternative social system with unlikely power structures. As Flannery O'Connor said, "While the South is hardly Christ-centered, it is most certainly Christ-haunted." I guess we tend to endorse Republican candidates, because they are more likely to say, "Jesus told me to run, and cut taxes, and not develop healthcare, and to Be American." I guess the name impresses us.

At the same time, though, but on a lower level, people are kind, here. They're polite. From what I've noticed from limited comparisons with people from places like Ohio or Michigan or other chillier states, Southerners are more tactful and don't greet people in a way that sounds like an insult. We say y'all instead of you guys (you guys being a phrase that offends that inner feminist I have stuffed back here somewhere.) We call people ma'am and sir if they're possibly older than us, or even really for no reason at all. No, it's not the saving-the-world variety of goodness. But there is goodness, and lots of it.

Guns- the right to bear arms- another issue. People that wouldn't want a gun in their house will loudly assert their Constitutional right to have one. As far as I can tell, one of the original reasons for that right was so that the government would know its populace was armed, and not overstep its bounds and thus piss off said armed populace. At this point in time, though, no one would dream of getting together a bunch of people with firearms and taking down the government, no matter how high taxes were raised. But maybe we like to think we could, if we had to.

There are so many myths taking up space in people's heads that create these contradictions. The grand story of the happy antebellum past, a golden age of sorts. The epic civil rights movement, as half the population struggled for equality and respect. The underdog story of the South's defeat by the industrialized, uncaring North, and how it had to rebuild itself. "The Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal." The shameful confession of all the things that were Not Good. Gone With the Wind and Martin Luther King Jr.

One of the reasons I've been thinking about this lately is because of my plans to move to Scotland. My (Canadian) flatmate-to-be asked if I wouldn't prefer somewhere in the south of England, since I was used to being Southern and all, and answered that I am definitely sure that no, I wouldn't. I sympathize with Scotland and its nationalism and possibly movement towards independence. It's not that I think the South should attempt to secede again or that we should institute the Stars and Bars flag, not by any means. But I've seen and heard the English prejudice towards and bemusement about Scotland- that it's weird, rural and undeveloped, that the people aren't understandable, that somehow being British but not being English is just... abnormal. Doesn't that sound familiar? Isn't that the perception given of the South from movies, the media? Just... bemusement. A lack of comprehension of why we're not classified as one thing or another, and thus we're drawling cooks of unhealthy food, or sheet-wearing Klansmen, or living in trailer parks making moonshine and playing "Dueling Banjos," or dying of critical stupidity as indicated by our SAT scores. We're Southern, so we're not normal, we're just... Other.

And maybe that's why Georgia literature, Flannery O'Connor and Carson McCullers and so on, seems so schizophrenic, zooming from one extreme to another, telling the stories of outsiders and misfits. Showing the lives of those that can't be put into easy categories, that are almost painful to read because of the difficulty of description.

Still, we resist cultural leveling where we can. We hold on to our conglomeration. "Be proud you're a Rebel 'cause the South's gonna do it again!" sings Charlie Daniels. Do what, precisely? Oh, nothing in particular. But still, we're proud, aren't we? And we'd rather be us than anything else. Even if that's something like Chattahoochee Tech sharing their campus with a trailer park, a sight I saw today.

So the myths go on, against each other and needing each other, and there are no conclusions to be had. But when is there, in life? We go on.

"...it's man devouring man our there, so who are we to deny it in here?"

Metropolis, directed by Fritz Lang in 1926, is a movie I found rather puzzling. What is it about? Religion? Marxism? Robots stealing our women and murdering us in our beds? It seems to be a mix of all three, and then some. The movie is silent, with German intertitles; this inconvenience caused me a small bit of panic at the beginning, since it's been awhile since I had opportunity to practice my German (and I've never been good at reading it.) The translated subtitles were no help, as they were in Spanish, but somehow I muddled through, managing to understand the bulk of the intertitles- the overall meaning of the film, however, might have escaped me.

There seem to be two groups of people in the futuristic, industrial city of the film- the wealthy business owners who know little outside their frivolous Great Gatsby-esque world, and the workers, who slave away doing meaningless, senseless tasks adjusting steam engine-powered machines night and day, as the fate of the factories rest in their abilities to pull a lever to the right place at the right time. But then one day, one of the young upperclass gentlemen, the son of a factory owner, sees the children of the workers with an attractive woman, and apparently resolves to know everything about them. This takes him to a factory where an exhausted worker fails to pull his lever and the factory proceeds to explode in much steamy glory, causing mass injuries and hallucinations of the machines as savage gods and the workers, their human sacrifices.

Son-of-bourgeoisie, a.k.a. Our Dashing Hero (replete with lipstick and eyeshadow) flips out, and runs to his father, gesturing desperately about the plight of the workers. He presumably gets nowhere, because from there he runs away and trades places with a worker and gets his own lever to pull. (One begins to wonder if there is some subtext going on with all the characters grabbing their fellow men and also needing levers to pull.) While down in the factory-world, he meets the Attractive Woman again, finds out she's named Maria, and there is either an enormous religious revival going on (the Gaze of Eternity on her face and all the crosses seem to suggest this) or she is inciting some sort of proletariat revolt, or she's dissuading the proles from revolting; it's rather unclear. In any case, Our Dashing Hero falls in love with her, promises to meet her at the cathedral the next morning, leaves her with a kiss, and she is abruptly kidnapped by the Mad Scientist, who has just been in cahoots with Our Dashing Hero's father.

Mad Scientist terrifies Maria, who expresses her terror by clutching at her breasts and writhing suggestively. Then he restrains her on a table in a laboratory that is clearly scientific. The tubes and glass bulbs of bubbly liquid prove this, of course, as does the electricity field that Mad Scientist uses to transfer Maria's body over to the body of a robotic woman. In a strange twist of fate, this is almost the same plot device that the British television show Doctor Who uses for the Cybermen, and I more than half expected Robot!Maria to go kill everyone in sight and turn them into robots as well.

She doesn't, though. She uses her Super Robot Powers to swing her hips and turn the upper class men into drooling twits (it didn't take much) and her identical appearance to Maria to incite the workers to real revolt: anthropomorphized versions of the seven deadly sins are out dancing and Death plays a flute solo on a femur, while the workers mob the factories. This, for some reason, causes the underground worker cities to flood, and their children flee, panicked. To rectify this mistake they tie Robot!Maria to the stake on top of some wrecked cars and burn her. Everybody cheers.

Our Dashing Hero doesn't, though, because he thinks that his lady love was the victim of Society. Then Robot!Maria burns into just a metal frame, Our Dashing Hero sees real Maria on the roof, and climbs a ladder to rescue her. (There is a lot of ladder-climbing in this movie. Presumably there are metaphors attached.) But no! Mad Scientist is there, grabbing her again! Mad Scientist really has a thing for grabbing screaming women. Our Dashing Hero and Mad Scientist wrestle on the roof of the church while Maria screams, and then Mad Scientist is tossed to his death, which is of course the generally accepted order of things. Our Dashing Hero and Maria snog, the workers would cheer but they're too busy running off and possibly realizing that the lunatics are now in charge of the asylum, and the leader of the workers and Our Dashing Hero's father (the leader of the factory owners) reluctantly shake hands, realizing that "between brain and hands must the heart be." But only if my German is correct.

La! A book review!

Currently reading a series of books by Lauren Willig and enjoying myself waaaaay too freaking much. They're set in Regency England, during the Napoleonic Wars- and best of all, Willig takes the Scarlet Pimpernel concept and just runs with it. The first book is The Secret History of the Pink Carnation, and it snatched me right from the first page about a grad student named Eloise, geekily delighted with history and with an alarming propensity for wearing the wrong shoes. In short, a little too much like me not to immediately cling to her in adoration.

The novels are framed narratives, following the trials and tribulations of Eloise as she attempts to find out the secret identity of the Pink Carnation (an English spy in France after the Revolution) for her dissertation. The only thing in her way? Colin Selwick, a descendant of the Purple Genetian, whose determination to block her attempts at research only matches her own determination to cling to the antique letters that hold the mystery of the Pink Carnation's name and story. Attractive, charming, and decidedly infuriating Colin Selwick.

But Eloise's story quickly gives way to Amy Balcourt's story- a half-English, half-French girl who desperately wants to go back to France to avenge her father's guillotine-assisted death and also to help the Purple Genetian in his spying; she's even taught herself the tricks of espionage to this end. So, enlisting the aid of her cousin Jane and their chaperone, Miss Gwen, she travels to France- only to be beleagured by the attentions of Richard Selwick, who is charms her with talk of Homer and Egyptology, and then is decided abhorrent for his ostensible French-supporting career. The plot takes off- adventurous and quirky, as if Jane Austen, Baroness Orczy, and Alan Bennett all got together and decided to write a novel.

Basically, the books seem to be romance novels, but with enough humor and suspense and adventure that it isn't cloying. I've finished the second book by this point, and found it just as delightful as the first. I may skip a class or two to read the third! :P

Movie review: The Shadow in the North

What with beautiful Victorian dresses, the attractive and talented J.J. Fields and Billie Piper in leading roles, and a mystery plot filled with gritty London alleyways and looming villains of all types, one would expect that The Shadow in the North, the BBC adaptation of Philip Pullman's novel and the sequel to the 2006 adaptation of The Ruby in the Smoke, to be engaging and fantastic in a beautifully historic fashion.

Dear Reader, one would be wrong.

One almost, in fact, doesn't know where one might begin to mention where one would be wrong.

Though rushed and semi-insensible, the plot is a fairly direct adaptation of the novel. Sally Lockhart, several years after the events of The Ruby in the Smoke (where she solved the mystery of several murders, including that of her father, and of the mystical Indian ruby behind them all) is working as an accountant in 1870s London, while avoiding marriage to her friend Fred Garland, a photographer and her partner in any mystery(along with another friend, Jim, who completes their trio.) When approached by a client who has lost her life's savings in a bad investment and has suspicions of corporate fraud, Sally, Jim, and Fred become involved in an investigation that will lead them to spiritualists and magicians, the cream of society and the dirty criminal element, patent offices and parties, and more tragedy than they ever imagined. And that's even before they discover a weapon of such diabolical intent that someone would be willing to kill them all, just to keep them from exposing his creation.

All in all, some very good ingredients for a splendidly suspenseful time. Except we find ourselves cheated from suspense as the director rushes through all threats from the bad guys to our heroes, dumping us off the edge of our seats to let us get a better view of their bruises afterwards. Instead of truly building the mystery, the movie rushes around to briefly touch on each of the minor characters, only to leave us without sufficient explanation of who they are, or why they merit any place in the movie beyond providing a fraction of a clue to advance the mostly-indecipherable plot- or, in fact, being memorable enough for me to recall their names the second after they leave the screen. While novel adaptations frequently change characters' relation to plot points adversely, a little compression could not possibly have hurt any more than this scattered mess did.

Possibly the most appalling thing about this movie, however, was the dearth of historical accuracy. The BBC's determinedly colorblind casting meant that a high degree of racial diversity was found at all levels of society, with none of the characters appearing to notice the differences between themselves. Not unless sexism counts- one of Sally's prime motivations is her desire to prove that women can be just as good as men at running a business or solving a problem, and frequently has to prove herself. But that is there for plot propulsion; the fact that outright racism isn't an issue in this book does not necessarily equate to all nationalities being represented at a society ball- the imperialistic politics of the time would have strictly forbid such a thing.

All of this historical fallacy seemed mostly excusable while I was watching it. After all, it might be just barely possible that an Indian man could be a clerk at the Patent Office. There might be mysterious, politics-circumventing reasons to explain how he came to be there. Maybe.

But the last shreds of the suspension of my belief were flung to the wind when a Rastafarian gentleman showed up (with no explanation for why his character should be a Rastafarian,) and I knew the movie would, in all likelihood, not get better.

As the movie spins towards its despondent and further credulity-stretching end, much of the cinematography and editing turns into a series of close face shots and extreme high establishing shots, as if to say, "Look! We have people looking Serious and Intense. We also have Victorian baubles! PAY ATTENTION TO NOTHING ELSE. Like, say, plot or historicity."

The movie ends on an ostensibly cheerful note, as Sally again violates a certain strong social more and nobody says a word, thus proving that mentioning Victorian society as it was (past the pretty dresses and decor) is unnecessary, except as it serves to fabricate character depth. Because I have a special interest in nineteenth-century Britain and am therefore rather picky about its representations, I found this film to be far less enjoyable than I expected. Perhaps someone less interested in the past would find this movie to be a good time, but frankly, if I want to see Billie Piper in the late nineteenth century, I'll just watch "The Unquiet Dead" and "Tooth and Claw" episodes of Doctor Who, where she's definitely a lot more fun.

Darkly Dreaming Dexter

Murder and mayhem and Miami, oh my!

... and at first glance, that seems to be what Showtime's Dexter is all about. Dexter Morgan (played by Michael C. Hall) is a charming blood spatter analyst for the Miami PD... who also has the little problem of being a sociopath and likes to kill people as a hobby. Thanks to the moral code instilled by his adoptive father, Harry, he only kills other killers- especially the ones that escape the justice system. Dexter attempts to blend into society by means of elaborate fake emotions, his attachment to his sister Deb, and his girlfriend Rita and her two kids, Cody and Astor. But while he considers himself a fraudulent human, we of the audience suspect there may be more to Dexter than even he believes.

The television series is based on the book series by Jeff Lindsey; the books and the show, while featuring the same premise and comparative plot, have different focuses- the show is far more detailed, rounding out many characters that are only briefly featured in the books, which are very strongly written in a first-person narrative- and who can expect a sociopath to incorporate the feelings of others in his book?

I would have to say one of my favorite things about the television series is the way it explores issues of community/isolation, realness of self/realness of others. There is so much dramatic irony to be seen as Dexter thinks himself alone and unique in his problems, even though its stuff we can all sympathize with- stuff like not understanding the people around us.

When it comes to fandom, Dexter is sadly nearly as dead as one of the title character's evening entertainments. However, there are some communities that produce some decent fanfiction- the Dexter Fanfic and DD_Dexter communities at LiveJournal especially. Thunderemerald is one of my favorite authors, for her quality characterization and dialogue- she just wrote "Water Through a Rusted Pipe," which I was totally impressed with the way she wrote Dexter and Deb. Dexter is inspiring me to explore the characters in more depth, too- so far I've written "Breakable Girls and Boys" and am writing another fic, and I'm also putting together a fanmix of songs that musically portray Dexter and Rita's relationship, and the hurdles that they both face to understanding each other.

you love me like an existentialist loves an empty room that nobody can see inside

Smell that fresh smell? New blog smell! Now available in a handy whatsit that you can hang from your rearview mirror to smell up your car! (And who doesn't want a car that smells of New Blog? I mean, really.)

This blog is intended to be the sibling-of-dubious-nature to my LiveJournal, and as such, be slightly more informative, as opposed to the colorful mess of fandom and life that LJ consists of. Why, one might as, in the maelstrom of my life, would I want another blog? Since, after all, I am pitifully addicted to LiveJournal and having another blogosphere to be fascinated with will probably cause the downfall of all academic studies whatsoever. That's definitely something to look forward to.

Well, folks, it's a class assignment. These things do happen; I am told, in times of war and great upheaval, cannibalism can be... oops, wrong topic. Um. *distracts you all with a dance and something shiny*

But no, for all my griping and whinging, I'm quite satisfied with an assignment like this. After all, I do spend half my mental time composing blog entries that I only sometimes write. They're fabulous, I assure you, these blog entries in my head. (As for the other half of my mental time, it's divided pretty evenly between fanfiction-pondering and gibbering panic at the pile of insensibility that is my life.)

Deciding on a subject for this blog = definitely one of the more challenging aspects of my day. After all, so many choices! Steampunk things! Victoriana! Books! TV Shows! Scottish Nationalism!

So for a while, a long dark period in history (more than three minutes, I swear) while I glumly perused the poll results that all my friends thought would be good ideas (making it how very obviously my friendslist is weighted towards Doctor Who) it looked like the theme might come down to Random Shit Katie Finds Interesting. I wondered if that was viable, and sent off a desperate email questioning class assignments and life in general to discover if it was.

And then I decided to Take Charge Of My Life.

I took a look at my choices, and realized that what I'm really interested in, in all of this dazzlingly confusing mess, is stories. Myth, narrative, whatever you want to call it. I care about writing and reading and analyzing, and finding how that works in terms of Story (which is a pretentious and outrageously ambiguous declaration with doubtful meaning and we should all take it for what it's worth.) I care about that when I'm watching a television show and admire the writing or the way it's filmed. I appreciate that when I'm reading a book- fiction or otherwise. I have the idea of a narrative and an overall story in mind when I'm looking at Steampunk fashion- after all, it's building an aesthetic out of the story of a culture that never existed.

So yes, this is going to be a Random Shit Katie Finds Interesting blog. But it does have a focus, albeit a very broad one that will depend on how I'm feeling the day I post.

Like today! This makes me want to know French just so I can understand what this beautifully tragic love story is all about, but it's almost better for not knowing- it just makes it all so otherworldly and achingly lovely.

Tais-toi mon coeur - Dionysos
Uploaded by Dionysos

More information on the narrative can be found here. It seems that Dionysos has focussed their latest album around the story of a boy who was born with a frozen heart that the midwife replaced with clockwork, and his clockwork heart worked until he fell in love. If there is a way to read or watch the rest of this story in English, I will find it somehow. But in the meantime, we have this beautiful music video, replete with gorgeous Victorian imagery and A PARASOL OMG.

Welcome, my friends, to the Narrative Cafe!